Helpmeet by Lola Babalola
The question is, are
marriages made in heaven?
When you pick up the
papers to read, you are fed with stories and pictures of marriages that have
broken down. Some have been marries for a while, some for far much longer. It
is those long marriages of twenty plus years that sadden me. A friend of mine
who had been married for twenty four years walked away and I felt really bad.
If you had stuck with for that long, why walk now? Then you read about the wife
killing the husband, do you stick an association where mutual respect has been
downgraded to zero? I know a young woman who says she really does not think
marriage is meant for her, because she could not be sure the gentleman of today
might not turn out a monster later. Why do people get married and picking from
my guest today, what role is the woman to play? I do remember that the Lord is
reputed to have said he He was creating a helpmeet for the man. HELPMEET. That was the word that struck
me when I saw the book. It resonated with me. It is not a book for Christians
alone but for women of all ages, creed and race. That was what I found
comforting. I did not have to be of a particular faith. I could read it as a
manual, a guide, letit be my friend on a lonely confused night.
One hundred and forty
five pages of inspirational and intuitive sensing of the role of the woman in
this wonderful creation.
The cover art was also
interesting as it spokes volumes, the deep roots of life together on a journey
holding hands and connecting.
It is a fairly long
read, but I am sure you will not notice as I had to restrain myself from asking
endless questions.
Let us meet the author
Lola Babalola
 |
| Lola Babalola.. Author |
1. Let’s
get to know you
My
name is Oluwafunmilola Babalola. I am an intercessor and the wife of Olajide Babalola, an Architect
and generational reformer. We are both ordained Pastors and family
counselors. We are blessed with six beautiful children. My professional
background is strategic communications and I have quite a few years of
experience from both the private and development sectors, so I consult across
both sectors but my job title these days is Mum.
2. Is this your first book?
I have been writing for many years and have published my poetry on
the world wide web. I am also the Founder of a pure play company called Feelnubia.com,
where I have been writing for about 6 years. HELPMEET is however, my
first published work.
3. Why did you write this book?
I must make a quick clarification. I will say I was the Editor but
I cannot claim to be the Author of this book.
Back to the why:
Although I shared some of my personal testimonies in it, HELPMEET was
written on the instruction and by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit to
encourage women to contend for marriage of their dreams by equipping themselves
with the knowledge of God's original plan for a wife in the life of her
husband. That knowledge liberated me as I wrote and read over the manuscript.
It continues to take me closer to God's heart for my marriage as I read it and
I am blessed by the numerous testimonies of both single and married women who
have read both the manuscript and the published work.
4. Do you think marriages are made in heaven?
I
believe that each one
of us is created as a unique expression of a multifaceted and gloriously
complex God who is as real to us as we allow Him to be. If you invite
Him, He will guide you through pretty much every aspect of your life the least
of which is not marriage. In fact, I venture to say that marriage is the most
important individual decision you will ever make in your life, second only to
the decision to stop blindly driving one's own life and hand it over to the
direction of the only Person competent to navigate one through life's journey.
So, my answer to your question is not a simple refutation or affirmation. If
you invite God into the preparation, selection and martial process, your
marriage could very well be made in heaven!
5. In
your view, what would be grounds to seek divorce?
This
answer would depend on the worldview to which you subscribe. These days, I live
my life for Jesus Christ and the Bible, which is my Standard Operating
Manual (if you will) prescribes adultery as grounds for divorce. In practise
however, there are many reasons why a person might seek or welcome divorce. The
Bible also shows us that Jesus is big on love and forgiveness, while clearly
stating that God hates divorce and for good reason too. Some of the reasons a
couple might find themselves at the brink of divorce are logical outcomes of
the foundation of that marriage in the first place. When we rush through our
preparations and decision to marry, it is inevitable that some signs we ignored
or trivialized would come back to haunt us. Furthermore, many of us do not
appreciate the gravity of the covenant of marriage so these days, you hear
married persons say casually: 'I will walk' over seemingly trivial issues.
Divorce can solve some problems but it is not always the magic
pill that our fast-food convenience culture presents it to be. Many
marital or relationship problems persist beyond the divorce, as couples that
have children continue to deal with one another nonetheless. Divorce does
not take away my poor decisions, immature management or reaction to a problem.
It does not wipe out my own mistakes. It passes the buck somewhat but it
oftentimes compounds the problem. My encouragement to anyone considering divorce
is that each person should honestly examine their reasons. Is this situation
remediable, forgivable? If not, why?
In HELPMEET, I was able to address some uncommon perspectives
about divorce and I quote:
"There are women who have turned marital challenges and betrayals
such as domestic abuse, adultery, even homosexual confessions around and built strong happy marriages out of the ruins of such calamity,
while others have understandably found it impossible to navigate past
those deeply difficult and painful experiences".
Also, from another
section I quote:
" It Takes A Life-Time To Correct A Marital Misstep
Even after divorce, couples find that the scars of their previous
marriage lingers, colouring every subsequent relationship and
interaction for as long as they live. It becomes a condition many
live with, learn to manage but never quite overcome. Perhaps that is
why God hates divorce because it creates a wound in our
spirits from which we hardly ever completely recover. Even after
they are healed, these wounds tend to cause a mutation from the scarring such that we are no longer quite who we were before we got
married to that person and can never return to being the
person we would have been had we not been through the
experience of a failed marriage. This sobering thought shshould
make us unwaveringly determined to get marriage right the
first and only time."
