HELPMEET BY LOLA BABALOLA

Helpmeet by Lola Babalola

The question is, are marriages made in heaven?

When you pick up the papers to read, you are fed with stories and pictures of marriages that have broken down. Some have been marries for a while, some for far much longer. It is those long marriages of twenty plus years that sadden me. A friend of mine who had been married for twenty four years walked away and I felt really bad. If you had stuck with for that long, why walk now? Then you read about the wife killing the husband, do you stick an association where mutual respect has been downgraded to zero? I know a young woman who says she really does not think marriage is meant for her, because she could not be sure the gentleman of today might not turn out a monster later. Why do people get married and picking from my guest today, what role is the woman to play? I do remember that the Lord is reputed to have said he He was creating a helpmeet for the man. HELPMEET. That was the word that struck me when I saw the book. It resonated with me. It is not a book for Christians alone but for women of all ages, creed and race. That was what I found comforting. I did not have to be of a particular faith. I could read it as a manual, a guide, letit be my friend on a lonely confused night.

One hundred and forty five pages of inspirational and intuitive sensing of the role of the woman in this wonderful creation.

The cover art was also interesting as it spokes volumes, the deep roots of life together on a journey holding hands and connecting.

It is a fairly long read, but I am sure you will not notice as I had to restrain myself from asking endless questions.

Let us meet the author Lola Babalola

Lola Babalola.. Author

1.    Let’s get to know you

​ My name is Oluwafunmilola Babalola. ​I am an intercessor and the wife of Olajide Babalola, an Architect and generational reformer. We are both ordained Pastors and family counselors. We are blessed with six beautiful children. My professional background is strategic communications and I have quite a few years of experience from both the private and development sectors, so I consult across both sectors but my job title these days is Mum.

2.    Is this your first book?

I have been writing for many years and have published my poetry on the world wide web. I am also the Founder of a pure play company called Feelnubia.com, where I have been writing for about 6 years. ​HELPMEET is however, my first published work​.

3.    Why did you write this book?

I must make a quick clarification. I will say I was the Editor but I cannot claim to be the Author of this book.

​

Back to the why:​

Although I shared some of my personal testimonies in it, HELPMEET was written on the instruction and by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit to encourage women to contend for marriage of their dreams by equipping themselves with the knowledge of God's original plan for a wife in the life of her husband. That knowledge liberated me as I wrote and read over the manuscript. It continues to take me closer to God's heart for my marriage as I read it and I am blessed by the numerous testimonies of both single and married women who have read both the manuscript and the published work.

4.    Do you think marriages are made in heaven?

​ I believe that ​each one of us is created as a unique expression of a multifaceted and gloriously complex God who is as real to us as we allow Him to be.  If you invite Him, He will guide you through pretty much every aspect of your life the least of which is not marriage. In fact, I venture to say that marriage is the most important individual decision you will ever make in your life, second only to the decision to stop blindly driving one's own life and hand it over to the direction of the only Person competent to navigate one through life's journey. So, my answer to your question is not a simple refutation or affirmation. If you invite God into the preparation, selection ​and martial process, your marriage could very well be  made in heaven!

5.    In your view, what would be grounds to seek divorce?

​ This answer would depend on the worldview to which you subscribe. These days, I live my life for Jesus  Christ and the Bible, which is my Standard Operating Manual (if you will) prescribes adultery as grounds for divorce. In practise however, there are many reasons why a person might seek or welcome divorce. The Bible also shows us that Jesus is big on love and forgiveness, while clearly stating that God hates divorce and for good reason too. Some of the reasons a couple might find themselves at the brink of divorce are logical outcomes of the foundation of that marriage in the first place. When we rush through our preparations and decision to marry, it is inevitable that some signs we ignored or trivialized would come back to haunt us. Furthermore, many of us do not appreciate the gravity of the covenant of marriage so these days, you hear married persons say casually: 'I will walk' over seemingly trivial issues.

Divorce can solve some problems but it is not always the magic pill that our fast-food convenience culture presents it to be. Many marital or relationship problems persist beyond the divorce, as couples that have children continue to deal with one another nonetheless. Divorce does not take away my poor decisions, immature management or reaction to a problem. It does not wipe out my own mistakes. It passes the buck somewhat but it oftentimes compounds the problem. My encouragement to anyone considering divorce is that each person should honestly examine their reasons. Is this situation remediable, forgivable? If not, why?

In HELPMEET, I was able to address some uncommon perspectives about divorce and I quote:

"There are women who have turned marital challenges and betrayals  such as domestic abuse, adultery, even homosexual confessions around and built strong happy marriages out of the ruins of such calamity,  while others have understandably found it impossible to navigate past  those  deeply difficult and painful experiences".

Also, from another section I quote:

" It Takes A Life-Time To Correct A Marital Misstep

Even after divorce, couples find that the scars of their previous  marriage lingers, colouring every subsequent relationship and    interaction for as long as they live. It becomes a condition many  live with, learn to manage but never quite overcome. Perhaps that is  why God hates divorce because it creates a wound in our  spirits from which we hardly ever completely recover. Even after  they are healed, these wounds tend to cause a mutation from the scarring such that we are no longer quite who we were before we got married to that person and can never return to being the  person we would have been had we not been through the  experience of a failed marriage. This sobering thought shshould make us unwaveringly determined to get marriage right the  first and only time."

SUrvived the Journey...Memuna Barnes

 You all know me by now. I will do a review only after I have read the book. When the author of this book invited me to review her book, I blithely wrote back my usual style. I need to know what I am reviewing. Right? I got the book , then saw the number of pages and I desperately wondered I didn’t just allow myself to be guided by the first offer and stay close to what amazon.com had to say. But I knew one review can be different from the other and I had no choice. When I started reading however, I became very alarmed and uncomfortable. I was worried, angry at different times and unfortunately I took the story into my dreams as I became a captive of Memuna Barnes.

I was saddened at the waste of adolescent dreams, the eagerness of young souls trampled underneath by our base emotions. The innocence of Memuna and her fellow victims, hope killed by the bullet into the brains of Fuck-care. Those names , how-are-you, Pustine, C.O Base and a host of others. It was painful to read how Memuna overcame her first horror at brutality to her resigned acceptance of it. She never came to terms with it and she mirrored to us how the older generation had failed them.

Survived the Journey is the journey of an innocent, fresh- faced, pert and saucy teenage girl, forced to grow up fast and eventually traumatized by the sheer cussedness of humanity where dreams die first.. She could easily have used that as the title of her book except for this detail, Memuna Barnes is a first rate survivor, who had the grace to be stubborn, a determination to hang on to her virginity, that determined her dreams.

Memuna survived the darkened dawn so she could take her place in the sun. Read her story and be inspired. I read and then I had these questions.

Congratulations on your book but we will love you to answer a few questions

1.    Please tell us a bit about yourself     

      A) I am Memuna Barnes in my 30s, one of nine children. I was born in Liberia to a

           Sierra Leonean father and a Liberian mother. I came to New Zealand in 2000 as  

           part of the United Nations Refugee Resettlement Program with my father and

           younger sister Mamawa.

2.    You started your story straight away about the capture and your family remained most times in the shadows. Tell us a bit more about your parents.

       A) Growing up both of my parents were in the workforce. My mother was a

           secretary at a printing company and my father a manager at Telema Fishing   

          Company - Liberia's second largest fishing company. At the time my sister     

       We're the two kids who lived with them in Liberia. We were well provided for and if

       there ever were hard times before the war.....my mother made sure my sister and

       I didn't know about it. Mama was a mother who lived for her children. Very hands -

       On. She never missed our school programs although Mamawa and I didn't

        attend the same school. Mama would pick up the child who did not have a program

        first and rush off to the school of the other child and make sure that child knew she

        was in the crowd watching. I was always involved in plays or speeches at mine and

        She would run to get Mamawa after work and rush to my school. She was always

       there in time to give me that last minute cheer, kiss and hug to assure me she was

       watching and enjoying every second. Which for me, was all that mattered.

       I was a well catered for child as far as I know.

      Our father worked most of the time and we only really got to see him at weekends.

      My parents paid for everything we wanted.                                                             

3.    What led to the RUF over running your part of the country?

      A) The Revolutionary United Front (RUF) walked into Sierra Leone from Liberia via

         the border and started what they dubbed "First Battalion" in Pujehun District by

         capturing and recruiting young boys and girls into their rebel force. Soon after they   

         took Kailahun District which was dubbed "Second Battalion" giving them access to

         diamond mines which were used as currency for ammunition. So those two

          southern districts became rebels stronghold.

4.    At the end of your journey, did you meet up with Hassan ?

       A) I could have met up with Hassan as I mentioned towards the end of the book

       when I bumped into How-are-you in the market. However, I was afraid he would

        find me and take me again. So no I didn't.

5.    Did you discover any further news about Base and Pustine?

      A) I know nothing more about Base. I could find out about Pustine if I asked a few   

        people but I have not tried to.

6.    You had quite a violent eighteen months as a captive, has it anyway affected your perception of war, politics and your old country.

      A) My experience has indeed affected me a great deal. First, before this I had no

      reason to think about war and I would forget really quickly soon after watching a      

      war movie as a child. I remember owning a toy pistol myself once. However, after

      experiencing two civil wars in a space of a decade, I think it is a pointless waste of

      lives, resources, infrastructure and a heinous offence to humanity. Why not just sit  

      and talk about issue? Why not negotiate and bargain ( this is what would have to     

      happen in the end anyway) and think about the citizens and the generations to   

      come?

     I think our leaders should picture themselves as parents when they are voted into

     power. They are voted out of trust and respect should always consider the people   

     who give them power and use that power for the people rather than against them.

     Create opportunities in form of jobs, utilize national resources and subsidize the     

     healthcare and education system of their respective countries.

     Liberia and Sierra Leone need to stand up and value their people especially when

     there are so many emotionally destroyed individuals running around aimlessly. You

     cannot love your country if you have no respect for human rights.

     The aftermath of war, I think is almost as bad as the war itself. The country is left with traumatized individuals who are so confused and still scared: for those who

     participated in the massacre - they live with the guilt (if capable of remorse) over the

     lives they took, unable to fit in a functional society ( for people like Hassan, Base,

    CO. Gbembo) where instead of people answering to them they now have to learn

    how to have bosses and a job, some live in fear of retribution.

     For those of us who witnessed the horror we live with recurring nightmares and      

     sorrow over our loss and we want answers but no one can offer them. For me 

    carrying on is something that just happens because I am  alive but still sometimes

    feel stuck. These memories can be triggered by the simplest event. I think about the

    day we left Monrovia almost everyday as I go past the dock and see cruise ships.

    Watching contemporary war movies or the sound of a car backfire gives me

    nightmares of the war.

   Then all the dead bodies that are left in the forests where bombs have been thrown at

   people... get washed off into waterways and pollute the environment and lead to the

   spread of diseases.

Pedal........ Louis Lowy

I call him my pirate, for he has the look , the charm and oh yes the ability to keep me riveted on a story. When I read Die Laughing, it seemed incongruous that such a warm person could write a humorous sci-fi that had me angry, horrified and impatient with the characters in the that particular book. Then I had a surprise when his second book came out. It was completely different from the first but just as compelling. Remember it is said that you are only as good as your last Louis however raised the bar with his second novel even though it was in another genre altogether.

That is what I love about writing and good authors, the ability to write in almost any genre and not be stuck in stereotyping that will ultimately stifle you.

Let’s share some comments about Louis’s book PEDAL 

Pedal tells the story of Joanne Brick, a single, 49-year-old elementary school music teacher who loses her job and struggles to reclaim her life back through bicycle racing. Pedal explores how Joanne -- who lives with her bossy, older sister, and their ailing mother – deals with unemployment, loneliness and loss of self-worth.

Pedal is part sports book, part family drama and part romance, but mostly it's a journey of self-discovery and reawakening. It is based around the theme of daring to change and how ordinary people handle life’s turning points.

Pedal runs 88,000 words (301 pages) and was released in December by Assent Publishing.

I had a chance to have what you might call a small chat with Louis, please let’s read together his answers to my questions. 

These are the questions I asked him.

Congratulations on your second outing albeit with another publishing house.

1. Why did you write Pedal? It is not the same as your first Die Laughing.

Because Pedal isn’t the same as Die Laughing is precisely the reason that I wrote it. I wanted to tell a polar opposite story. Die Laughing, which I love, was a big novel. What I mean, is that it had lots of dire exterior forces going on: shape-shifting aliens plundering the earth’s oil, refinery explosions, falling airplanes and live television broadcasts, all leading to the possible extinction of mankind.

With Pedal I wanted to write a quiet story, yet one where the protagonist had as much at stake in her world as there was in Die Laughing. The disrupting forces in Pedal are more personal, though as I said, just as dire for her. My protagonist has to overcome her own self to save her world, which she lost when the one thing that defined her—her career as an elementary school music teacher—was taken away. I also chose a female protagonist because Die Laughing had had a male protagonist. Whew! That turned out to be quite a challenge.

2. Share with us your experience at the last book reading of Pedal.
   

In one word: incredible. I was fortunate enough to have the wonderful author, John Dufresne introduce me. The audience was larger than I expected, attentive. They reacted to the passages I read in the way that I hoped they would, and then later asked thoughtful questions. For this author, it doesn’t get any better than that. And oh, yeah, they purchased lots of books.

3. Will you say you are a romantic person?

I would like to think I am, but my wife may dispute that point. I’m not one who wears their heart on their sleeve, that’s for sure, but I do tend to be a bit nostalgic and reflective. As that pertains to my protagonists, though each are different, I do like to embed in them the potential to be romantic. They may or may not reach that state, but the opportunity is there.

4. You seem to have moved away almost completely from sci-fi or am I mistaken?

Though I can see why you think that, the answer is no. My next novel To Dream, is the first of a two book series titled the Anatomy of a Humachine (IFWG Publishing). It’s an epic science fiction drama scheduled for release in mid-2016.  I’m very excited about it.

5. From the pictures, Pedal seems to have been a roaring success yes?

The reading was held at the wonderful Books & Books in my home town of South Florida, so I was anticipating a good crowd, but when that greatly exceeded my expectations, I was humbled.

6. I love your theme of loneliness, unemployment and the terrible effects of that on one's self confidence, Johanne seems to be an archetypal old Miss. Why did you pick such a person?

I picked someone like that because I wanted Joanne to be the type of person who had the most to lose when her life-defining career was taken from her. This may sound cruel, but I wanted her to suffer. To have to struggle like she’s never struggled before. To fight for her life, so to speak. That’s what defines a person. She may or may not succeed, but whatever happens I want her to have given it her best shot. I see her as a wilted flower who—if she can overcome her obstacles—will blossom into the woman she wants to be, but never was.

7. What wins over on a cold winter night, a thrilling sci-fi or a teary sob romantic novel?

A thrilling sci-fi with a touch of teary romance.

8. What has been the response to your second book?

I’m very grateful that people enjoy Pedal and that the Kindle edition is an Amazon Bestseller in Religious & Inspirational Fiction: Women's Fiction and Inspirational. I worked hard on the story and for it to finally get in the reader’s hands and have them tell you how much they like it is a wonderful feeling.

9. Any work in progress now?

Oh, yes. I’m always working ahead. I’m polishing up a fantasy story about a dying gambler who is given an opportunity to redeem himself, and a turn of the 19^th century horror novel. Though I have an outline, I also have to write Book II of Anatomy of a Humachine. Next, I’ll try my hand at a detective novel – of course that’s a ways down the road.

10. Please share with us the links to your books.

Louis K Lowy books on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=louis+k.+lowy

Pedal/Assent Publishing: http://assentpublishing.com/Books.aspx#1052

Die Laughing/IFWG Publishing: http://ifwgpublishing.com/store-item-die-laughing/

In general, check out my website: http://www.louisklowy.com/

Twitter: @louisklowy

Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/Louis-on-Facebook

Feel free to contact me. I love to speak with fans.

Thank you for sharing time with us.

Thank you, Biola, for the opportunity to speak with you about my work. It’s been a pleasure.